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New Forest HOG
Western Area
Xmas Party
2005

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'MEAT & 3 VEG' GALLERY
 

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EVENT REPORT

Gale force winds and driving rain ensured that the chain ferry was withdrawn early afternoon leaving most of us no choice but to go the ‘pretty way’ to downtown Swanage for the ‘White Horse’ Xmas party – likewise ensuring that most of us were later arriving than planned and leaving Ross the landlord in a bit of a TizWaz ‘cos the stunning array of hot food he’d prepared was ready for serving at 8.30pm and hardly anyone was there yet - so nosebags were suitably delayed. However over the next 30 minutes the numbers swelled substantially and after several swift halves every one tucked into yet another fab feast that included Beef, Turkey, Sea Bass with gateaux and cheese and biscuits to soak up the alcohol as the night got progressively more raucous once Terry Nash cranked up a liberal dose of  his Meatloaf tribute with loadsa party favourites like the ‘Time Warp’ thrown in for good measure .

Ably supported by local band DNA performing some commendable covers Terry warmed to the task of getting everyone into the party spirit with bags of audience participation. Amelia, Julie & Karen provided some spontaneous girlie backing vocals on ‘Summer Lovin’ (from Grease) leaving this former pop group manager anxious to concoct a suitable name for this new trio of lovelies. ‘Meat & the Loavettes’ was a first thought and then a little light bulb lit above my addled brain cell and inspiration of X-factor style proportions struck me like a proverbial Sharon, Simon & Louis inspired bolt of lightning … Now and forever more they shall be hallowed - nay revered as … ‘Meat & 3 veg’ !

New Forest ‘newbies’ Rab & Mo (hope I got your names right guys !) were singled out for special attention so they couldn’t right a snotty letter to the Newsletter and claim their free ‘Billy No Mates’ badge and were (hopefully) made to feel welcome by everyone present. Earlier in the evening ‘El Directore’ Les Williams, once alerted to their presence had jokingly   suggested erecting a neon ‘Newby’ sign (with a big arrow pointing down) above their bar table to ensure everyone dropped by to say hello. Lovely couple though and and took all the attention in good humour - look forward to seeing you both at the Winter Ball !

Karen (aka ‘The Ginger Whinger’ – her words not mine !!) lost the ‘most impressive pair of stockings contest’ by revealing she was wearing a particularly unattractive pair of pop sox under her jeans – they were eclipsed however by the lady who proudly hitched her trousers up  to show off a puke green pair of ‘Santa Claus’ socks she had on inside her biker boots which I can only surmise her grandchildren must have bought her as a joke Xmas present last year …. Apologies to the lady concerned if she was genuinely proud of them - but they were seriously hideous.

Our son Max bought me some ‘Simpsons’ socks many years ago which even in my most desperate underwear crisis moment I have never been able to bring myself to put on (even though I know no one will see them because I work from home) on the vague off chance I get taken to hospital for some reason and have to suffer the humiliation of a nubile young nurse removing them and then slowly and incredulously shaking her head at what a ‘saddo’ I must be for wearing them in the first place - and even worse believing me to be labouring under the illusion that they are – in some pathetic masochistic way…  ‘cool’ .

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